Alas, the long embittered winter has found rest in the bosom of another season gone by. And behold, spring is upon us! For some, this means prepping for finals, tying up loose academic ends, and studying hard to finish the year well. For others, however, spring takes on a more…care free tone.
I speak on behalf of these “others”…the sane ones. For, if you have any common sense still rattling around in your head after a nearly a year of college learning, you well know that now is the time to, well, check out. Yes, give up. Don’t try. Bust loose, as they say. You have traversed the academic wilderness well, and now it is time to rest your weary head in the knowledge that you did what you did and there ain’t no undoing. It’s the time to stop while you’re ahead instead of killing yourself for finals that you will bomb anyway.
People everywhere are closing their textbooks to throw frisbees. They are forsaking the study room to pursue attractive companions for the June-August bliss period. Yes, they may fail their finals. Yes, they and their spring fever cutie will be history by the fall semester. And yes, some will even lose their academic scholarships. But those things are irrelevant. What matters is that they’re infected with feverous illness that only the sweet, sweet sweltering summer can cure. And it is beautiful. Spring fever, my college companions, has hit.
My charge to you is this: Grip that fever like a boss. Trash your half-typed theses and throw on your short shorts, gents. Go waste 13 hours straight playing COD. Empty what little your bank account has left from your loving parents on ice cream and 80’s music. Go buy a puppy. Sleep through class. Wrestle a bear. Eat your cereal with chocolate milk. Go crazy. (#YOLO)
You, my fine frat friend, have reached the point where you let go of the steering wheel and sing Carrie Underwood’s heart-warming anthem. Spring time is when the coldness of well-worn study habits thaw and new life and energy burst up from the ground…sometimes in the form of a mandatory trip to the Dean’s office. But alas, every bird in God’s creation is leaving its nest. It’s time for you to leave the library. You may get an ‘F’ in your Bio Lab, but I’ll bet that pineapple milkshake you’re sipping in a hammock behind the library never tasted so good.
Welcome to college.
minifridgesandfutons 